When I think of fortune cookies, I think of fortunes that never ring true – or things that are most obvious. The last time I got a fortune cookie, I was at a restaurant with my Aunt and my Mum. I decided it would be amusing to rumple up the stupid fortune which I knew would never come true, in to a ball.
I lodged the ball in to the end of my drinking straw and shot it at my Mum. I think they were so shocked by my very mature actions that they both just laughed and warned me to cut-it-out. That’s right, you can’t take me anywhere. I’m sure that was the last time anyone from that place will pass me a stupid fortune cookie.
And what’s the g-o with how they taste?! I’m sure if I went home and munched on a piece of dry wall it’d taste about the same. I’m no expert, and I don’t regularly gnaw on dry wall for fun, but if I were to, that’s what I assume it would taste like.
Fortune cookies remind me of The Simpsons. (Everything in life comes back to the Simpsons) when Homer is employed to write the fortunes. He writes one for Mr. Burns saying, “You will find love on Flag Day.” And that day happens to be Flag Day. When the Chinese delivery boy asks for a tip, Mr. Burns puts on a fake accent and says, “Me sowwy, me no speak no Chinese.” And I laughed at it’s inappropriateness.
I read recently on a site that had engagement suggestions, how to pop the question. One of the suggestions was putting the engagement ring in to a fortune cookie. WHAT THE DIDDLY WHAT?! Who actually would do such a gay thing?! (Yes, I’m one of those youngin’s who replace words like ‘stupid’ and ‘ridiculous’ with ‘gay’) Firstly, whatever happened to popping the question like a normal person by getting down on one knee, taking her hand and asking for marriage? And secondly, is that trying to make a statement by saying that you are her fortune? A bit presumptuous mate. If someone proposed to me like that (which, let’s face it, is probably never going to happen.) I’d say no, just because the proposal idea was so dumb – and not to mention, I have a thing about food tampering.
And so that’s my friends, is my Sunday Scribbling on Fortune Cookies.