September, the bad month...

Dad always told me that September was a hideous month. For him, it was always filled with bad luck, trials and tribulations starting with his parents divorce as a child. He told me this in September 2002 when he was hit with a ridiculously unfair $25,000 lawsuit no thanks to his then-partner with who had a big mouth. The next September his step-father died very suddenly of a heart attack. September 2004 my aunt was admitted to hospital and had to have a surgery for an annuerism. September 2005 that aunt died of lung cancer.

At around 8:30am this morning my Dad called me. He thinly vieled this call as one to just quickly tell me that he was mailing me some car insurance forms from home. There was an air of lingering awkwardness. There was a sweetness in his voice that I was surprised to hear. He had littered the conversation with petnames which isn't too much like my Dad. As there was that moment of silence where he was about to end the call, I asked, "How are you? Is everything cool?"

His voice turned really dark and sad and he said with a bit of an awkward laugh, "No not really..." Immediately I knew something was wrong. I've heard that voice on my Dad far too much in concern of my brother. I asked him what had happened, thinking that the story he'd relayed to me about my brother last week had checked out and he was upset with everything. Instead, he shocked me with, "C. has cancer." I felt like a bomb had been dropped on me. C. is my Dad's girlfriend of just on ten years. I tried to ask a million questions at once. What type, wha, how? why? how bad? etc... He was almost whispering and said he couldn't say much cos she was around, but he was on his way to the hospital to meet with the dr about it with her. He promised he'd call me back over the weekend with more details.

C. is the reason for my dad's happiness. She is the reason that I have a great relationship with my Dad. She is the reason why my Dad hasn't choked or disowned my brother. She has always been there for my brother and I and has always opened up her heart to us and with her, we know we have a second mother. I spent pretty much the past 8 years living with her and my Dad, including her as part of my family. I remember just how gutting it was last year when Dad told me that she was concerned that I had grown to dislike her... I never, ever wanted her to think that, because if anything, I loved C. from the first night I ever met her.

I ended the conversation with Dad quickly. Burst in to tears and went to tell my Mum. She consoled me and advised me not to start to worry until we have more details. It was on my mind all day and .... I actually forgot to go to work. Thank goodness they're a completely understanding bunch.

I tried to sleep all afternoon away, I haven't wanted to think about it or worry but I just can't help it.

Valan called me earlier to find out how I was feeling, during that time Dad called as well. So I spoke to him again for about 10 minutes. I thankfully got more details. She has cancer of the ovaries (I think) and has to have a full hysterectemy (sp?) but they still don't know the extent of how far it's spread. Apparently the chances of treating it are good. My Dad said there's four stages of treating it. He's still really shaken up but says that they both feel a bit more positive now. He said, "I can imagine it happening to me, but not to her." :(

He said they're waiting for test results... I'm still really quite worried. I'm scared for her and scared for my Dad and I don't want him to lose another loved one to cancer. She's only 51 and she's such an awesome, happy, vibrant woman. It's going to be a fight ahead of them, regardless.

I obviously still don't know a lot, but hopefully I'll have better news next time...

Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. I also, like my Dad, don't want to lose another loved one, especially not C.

:(