Seek And You Will Find

During my very first true and interested conversation about God with another Catholic, a passage of the bible was recited to me. I couldn't remember it word for word, but at the time it meant so much to me. A couple of weeks later I bought my own bible and without having any idea where I should begin reading, I flipped open the page very casually during the train ride back to my house and found the exact quote that had been recited to me;

"Keep on asking, and you will be given what you ask for. Keep on looking, and you will find. Keep on knocking , and the door will be open. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And the door is opened to everyone who knocks." - Matthew 7:7-8

I felt amazed that this passage had simply fallen in to my lap as I had been struggling so hard to remember it. I felt like it was God reminding me of his persistence with me. I found this passage to be helpful in reminding me that nothing would be kept from me. It gave me confidence and strength in seeking to find answers to everything that didn't clearly make too much sense just yet. It made me feel less guilty about impeding on the lives of other Christian's by asking for their help in guiding me along the right path, to help me understand.

It basically summed up how God and I had made friends. At first it was He, who was knocking. I was doing my part as usual, pretending I wasn't home. Closing the curtains, hiding under the table, fearing His company or what he sought-after in me. My Lord is unrelenting and persistent, though. He never gave up on me. He found other means of unlocking my door - He was a bit tricky about it, a little mysterious if you will -- but I think it was my Grandmother who once told me that God worked in mysterious ways. How right she was!

Once the door to my heart was ajar, He let outside forces do the rest. Upon unlatching the lock to my heart, I took a peep around to see who had been knocking, but no one was there. I was confused. I stepped outside, took a bigger look around -- everything outside of that door had changed. Everything that seemed familiar and normal seemed dark and hard to face. It was almost as if I could see evil working overtime all of a sudden. Things that seemed perfectly acceptable in society, seemed no longer. I ran back inside, and shut the door until I felt safe.

God's game of knock-and-run carried on for a little while until I was coerced by an unknown force to again, step outside of what I knew and take a good look around me and try to figure out what and who it was pulling at my heart strings. I started to do a bit of digging myself, followed by some door knocking. Surprisingly, people answered - they heeded my desire to know why this mysterious fellow was continually disturbing my self-absorbed and surface-happy life!

The answers that I'd been searching for, I had struck like a pot of Gold at a rainbow after a dark and bleak storm. The smile that filled my lips was one of pure gladness, of light and of love and of a superior knowing that God loves me.

And you know what? Nothing else matters anymore. The depression went away, the anxiety filling my heart seemed to dissipate and the loneliness that encumbered me is also no longer - because God is always with me, and I can never ever be alone. The only times that these feelings come back to me, is when I start to stray from Him.

But with Him, I can never be unhappy.

Praise God!