Sunday, October 22, 2006

Sunday Scribblings: #30 -- Good

I’ve always been a good girl.

I never stepped out of line at home. I knew my manners, I was well-behaved, I was never rebellious, I was never too much to handle. I rarely spoke back to my parents, I always did what I was told and I never told them any lies. I went ahead and did what they thought I wanted to do. I helped out around the house, they knew where I was at all times even without having to ask.

I was good in school. I did my work, I kept to myself. Even when making friends didn’t always work, I didn’t let that disrupt the way I treated everyone else.

I grew up. I never touched drugs, I didn’t go and get myself drunk. I’ve never even smoked a cigarette. I’ve never had a one night stand – in fact, I’m still a virgin waiting for that perfect man who will marry me and treat me like I’m the woman he’s been waiting for his entire life.

Some call that deluded, I still try to talk myself in to thinking it’s just me being good. :)

I bet those are all things that would make my parents proud. And sure, they make me ‘good’, but not great.

I became a Catholic almost two years ago. And I learned that it takes more than sitting upon a moral high-horse, sneering down my nose at others to make me someone who is right in the eyes of God.

I know that it takes humility, humbleness of the heart, purity, honesty and love for everyone, not just the people that I like. Being great or righteous in the eyes of God means tolerance and acceptance of everyone and to treat others as I would like to be treated – all of these things that I lack on a very day-to-day basis.

All through my life I have settled for what is good-enough. In terms of how I’d let people treat me, in terms of self-validation, boyfriends and more.

I don’t want to ever be just ‘good enough’ in the eyes of another person or in the eyes of the Lord.

I don’t even want to good anymore.

I want to be great.

http://sundayscribblings.blogspot.com

7 comments:

Inconsequential said...

:)

Chelle Y. said...

You're life sounds like mine, except for the fact that I was reared a Baptist. :)

I, too, was a virgin when I was married at the age of twenty-five. It is not common these days, and people will pressure you. I am here to say, that it was worth the wait.

I am thrilled to read that you do not want to snub your nose to anyone who does not agree with your standards of living. I so agree. It's easy to act "holier than thou" but in the end, that just makes us look bad.

Good writing!

Jessy said...

Thanks for the encouraging comment. I am so glad that you have met someone that is perfect for you. :)

Yep, it's easy to take the holier than thou route, but Jesus did say that we are not to judge others, and that unless we are without fault we shouldnt cast out others... who am I to have done that to others?!

:) Thanks xoxox

nike said...

jessy ,

then be great .
good luck !
i mean , great luck .

nike

Amber said...

Good scribble, Jesse. I think it is very cool that you have waited to have sex. Sex is too often something girls can lose parts of themselves in, and forget their own journey. I wish more young women would wait, and spend time trying to figure out their own purpose on this earth, and all the gifts God gave them, before taking that step.

:)

LYL said...

I became a Catholic almost two years ago. And I learned that it takes more than sitting upon a moral high-horse, sneering down my nose at others to make me someone who is right in the eyes of God.

Beautiful, Jessy, beautiful.

You *are* a good girl - becoming great!!

twilightspider said...

This is a really nice piece of writing. You state your positions so eloquently, so openly and with such hope. Keep it up, you will end up exactly where you want to be.