Praise be to G-O-D!

[Music: Only if God says Yes - Yolanda Adams]

I hadn't opened my bible in over a week. I wasn't interested in talking God with anyone, just concentrating on talking quietly to God in my own private time. Even my very bestfriend who at one point was an athiest was sending me bible quotes through text message and I felt that evil voice in my head getting mad at her for doing that to me. Sometimes it's the last thing you want to hear when things go wrong. How selfish.

I had a conversation with one of my other friends two nights ago. She kept assuring me that Jesus will never leave me. Maybe not what I wanted to hear, but certainly the truth. She promised me that things would change, I was just depressed. She promised me she wasn't going to give up on me just cause I was in a bad mood (and man, I so was.) Weird that just a couple of weeks ago she had been complimenting me on how I'd been inspiring her and she was amazed by how far I had come -- I hadn't noticed it myself, really. There's one particular person who comes in and out of my life now and then who makes me feel like I'm under-attack. I get so unsettled and it stirs my heart in a way that I can't even describe. I think that was part of it.

Anyway, I got out my bible and read the whole chapter of Acts 9. It was when Paul (Saul) met Jesus (Caro, you were wrong!!! haha I'll explain to you later.) and I felt even just that tiny bit better. I also got my Idiots guide to understanding Catholicism and read a bit about Our Lady in Guadalupe (I love that vision story, it's amazing and it gives me chills). Before I went to bed, I couldn't really bring myself to do the full Rosary but I prayed. I felt so much better, I asked for nothing but to be able to see with clarity the reasons for everything that had happened through the week.

Waking up yesterday everything felt so much better. My stepfather figured out a way to get my car back here without me having to pay excessive $350+ for a towing service, and so now it's only going to cost around $100 (if that!) I just have to pay the petrol for his Dad to drive out to Pakenham to pick it up for me and bring it back and then for the cost of the trailer hire. Praise be to God for that. I also worked out that I can still go to Sydney for my lovely Penny's 21st birthday and her Mum called me, so I organised with her to keep it a secret that I was coming. :) I want to surprise her. I get to see all my friends and I get to be there for my Dads birthday as well on the 3rd of february. I want to buy my Dad something really special. Any ideas?

Praise be to God for the friends and family who care enough about me to help me whenever things get tough, who never give up and keep persisting to cheer me up and make sure I know they are there.

Praise be to God for making me see that even though my stepfather and I certainly have our differences, he would still go out of his way to do anything for me if it is going to faciliate me in the long run.

Praise be to God for blessing me with all the great things that I have in my life that I am not always so thankful for. Praise God for the things that sometimes aren't so good, for making me see that there are other ways meet my goals, that it just takes patience and persistence.

Praise be to God for showing me a life of FREEDOM for freeing me from people and things that were holding me back.

Praise be to God for showing me I am worth something, that I do have things to offer. I have been thinking lately over what I have to offer other's around me, what I have to offer God. I still haven't come up with anything, but I'm still thinking. If I can't think of anything, then I better find something new and fast.

I want only to serve God. Even when things are bad. I never want to turn him away. Ever.

Take care and God Bless.
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