Send us where we need to be

God and I talked for awhile last night, it's been awhile, since I've sat down with Him and really talked. I asked Him to bring me to the right place, to free me of the burdens I'm feeling. I lay in the dark and felt so good to get a lot of things off of my chest, to entrust some issues in to His Holy hands. I had myself reduced to tears, but definitely not too tired to talk, for once.

I finally made it to the new church I've been talking about going to for awhile. I don't know why I was so reluctant. I suppose it was the anxiety issues that I have superceding my desire to hear God's Word. And we all know who's voice I was hearing, and it wasn't The Lord's. Social anxiety is something I've struggled with for so long, but last night a whisper from the Almighty Father gave me strength.

I just need to say, that the church that I was going to before was a good one. The message was always really good and the Fr. was a really nice man, but I felt very intimidated in his presence. I spoke to him only twice, but I put off my confession with him because for whatever reasons, I kind of feared him. Each time I spoke with him I felt unnerved. I can't explain it. It wasn't that he wasn't friendly, nor was he not accomodating, but I don't know... I didn't feel comfortable. And also, I made mention earlier that no one at church had ever really said hello to me, except for the part in Mass where you are supposed to wish another person peace. So, I always felt really nervous going to church every week. The only thing that kept me going back was the way the way the gospel was given. I really liked it.

So I went to a 10:30am Mass. (I didnt have to wake up at 8am to be at church at 11am anymore, I could have awoken at 10 past 10am and still got there on time!!) The second I walked in, I felt an amazing atmosphere. The parish was made up of mostly elderly people, but that didn't deter me. I love the elderly. (Seriously!) And so I the priest came out. And he looked so sweet. He looks quite old. He started talking and I picked up a thick Irish accent, endearing me more. He delivered a fantastic message. It was about forgiveness. Something that really touched on my heart, since I've been having quite a few issues with friends, ex-friends and acquaintences lately. I loved it. The church itself was quite big and it was gorgeous! Stunning, actually. I loved the whole thing, right down to the off-key one-woman choir. So cute!

After the service I began walking out and one of the parish members began speaking to me. She was so cute, elderly and friendly! I noticed that the Fr. was by the door coming to bid people farewell (which I never saw at the other church, it was so hard to get a hold of him, I found.) and for by some special Grace and will of God, I found the courage (although a little shakily I dare admit) to walk up, seemingly confidently, and introduce myself to him. I told him that I was new to the parish and had just recently moved here. He grabbed my hand and shook it and looked at me so kindly. He gave me such a warm welcome and made me feel very comfortable. Now, just by his initial sweetness alone, I went on to tell him that I was quite new to faith and I wanted to perhaps see him at a more appropriate time. I quickly explained that I was not yet confirmed, and would love to learn more about it, and how to go about it.

He seemed quite happy to hear this. There was another woman who was standing by who also introduced herself (She handed me the service leaflet as I walked in) and welcomed me also. Fr. (Cleary) told me that they were having special RCIA meetings on wednesday nights and invited me along to attend. I told him that it was lovely to meet him and thanked him for the great service and said that I would love to make Sacred Heart my new home. Then the other woman who was there, took me on a little guided tour to show me exactly where the RCIA meetings were being held and explained a little about it, and talked with me about general stuff. She was lovely!

And seriously? I really felt at home. As I was speaking with Fr. I was thinking that I would feel completely comfortable with him during a confession. He seemed perfectly non-judging and all-round sweet and kind. So folks, I'm attending this RCIA meeting on wednesday. I'm kind of excited about it and it felt so good going back to church again.

Having been moved by the service, I came home and sorted out an issue with one of my bestfriends. Something so petty, and so silly ... and it's sorted and I'm glad because its the worst feeling in the world to be having a disagreement or a silly quarrel with someone so dear.

And the other thing that I'm disgustingly happy about? Well... I picked up this today. :D Isn't it beautiful? It's like the most beautiful box set that ever was!

Each week a new single will be released. Each single has the DVD video of the song, and the audio song. It starts from Off The Wall days, onwards. I am so very pleased about it. I know its a terrible marketing plot by sony music, still exploiting Michael Jackson's name while it's still big in the news, but so what. I fell for it, hahahaha. I can't help having to buy everything with the guys name on it!

I'm glad it's not that expensive. Well at the moment everything is expensive. Good news is, after this week, I should have a bit more money and can start paying some bills and thinking about what to do with my car. :(

I wanted to especially thank Antonia for all the wonderful, wise and profound things she always says. She's a beacon of faith that is always overflowing and I admire her so much! :D

God bless guys, have a fantastic day / night / morning!!!

xxx
Jess