I was reading this post at The Cubicle Reverends blog and something occured to me. It's so easy for virgins to get labeled, especially when theyre in their twenties and onwards.
I was always proud of my decision to wait until I was completely ready to have sex. I also had no problem sharing that decision with anyone who asked. The older I got, the more it was met with scorn. People would pat me on the head and smile sweetly at me and ask me to cover my eyes because the talk of sex was about to brought up. Some of my friends would blatently tell me, "You need to get laid." It used to both offend me and hurt me. I was patronised a lot and looked upon differently, because goodness knows how sex makes the world go around, and there's nothing else to life besides it!
I not so much, looked-down upon, but I couldn't help being disgusted by the way some people seemed to want to "school" me on sex, and would talk about things in front of me, purposely just to get a rise out of me. I've never been the kind of person who looks at another person with a lustful eye. Of course jokingly I've made comments here and there about people I've been interested in, but mostly just comments like, "Look at that guy, he's my boyfriend. He doesn't know it yet, but we're getting married!" (its a bit of a joke between my friends and I, now, so many boyfriends, so many weddings to attend to!) I don't ever (and have never) looked at another male (or female for that matter) and said something crass with all seriousness. I hate that behavior and I think it's a sad reflection of somebodies state of mind.
I hate how sex-minded people are. I hate it when friends need to share their sex life with me, how great a particular experience was or how it wasn't so great. I find it to be really inappropriate. I really feel that relationships between men and women who are in love should be intimate, private and between the two of them, most especially what goes on in the bedroom.
Anyway, I'm a 22 yr old virgin. I know friends of mine who are ten yrs my senior who are also virgins and I have so much respect for them and their strength, desire and will to wait until marriage or whenever the time is right for them.
I personally plan to wait til marriage and I hope that the man that I choose to marry will also share the same with me. I thank God that he gave me the power to stand up against the sake of keeping up with my peers or my innocence from being disposed at an early age as it easily could have been.
And tonight will be the earliest night for me, yet. It's 1:30am, and I have all intentions of going to Mass tomorrow for the first time in awhile. (That's cause I suck.)
xxx
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7 comments:
you are too sweet for words. You are a brave girl for admitting this. The idea of virginity as identity actually first came to my attention after hearing a review of the 40 yr. old virgin on the radio by a Christian movie critic I have talked to once or twice. And I know what you mean. I have had a lot of what you talk about things in the same way to me.
Hey Jess! I am happy you are going to Mass & I know Jesus is happy too! He has been waiting for you!
God Blessed you with your purity of soul! Sex with anyone other than a spouse is a just a twisted shadow of what sex is meant to be. It's like eating old dirty food stuck on the bottom of your shoe....compared with eating a banquet on the table.
and unfortunatly some people are just so blind that they see the scrap on the food on the floor, and then try to tempt others to leave the banquet to join them. Pray for your friends.
I too am so unbelievably greatful to God for having given me the graces to stay pure. I sometimes think about how I'd feel if I had had sex with an old boyfriend, now that I am about to be married to Chris....& I am just SO SO SO SO SO SO thankful to God for the grace He gave me to save sex for marriage.
My advice if you feel you are being called to Marriage, is to pray for your future spouse that he will be kept pure from sexual sins. I did, and without going into too much detail, I know that it was God hearing my prayers that kept Chris sexually pure before him & I met.
anyway, good post!
lotsa love
-x-x-
Cubey, you're always so generouys with your compliments :) Thanks for being so sweet and kind to me always.
Wow Antonia, thank you for the thoughtful response, you are always so inspirational. Really. I get a lot of information and insight from things you say and post and thank you always from the bottom of my heart :) I always take everything you say on board and apply it where I can!
You're a wonderful person. :)
xxx
Jess
Jess :)
I think it's great that you're waiting for when you feel it's right -- following your heart, and what you feel God speaks to you... because, no matter what others say, it's YOU that has to be happy with you, and acceptance isn't in others' views. God will be smiling at your wonderful strength. :)
Jobo
Jess, congratulations for posting this. It helps other virgins to know that they're not tbe only ones, too.
And it's good to see some more Vic Catholic blogs around!
Hey thanks Mike :)
Hey sista!
Yah know my feelings on the subject..just adding by props to your post here! :P
Sex does make the world go round...even more so than money i think.
Its funny how it works really- that all that pre-sexual testing is quite frankly out of fear.
Going to the extreme, instead of lying any quality foundations in a relationship.
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