Forgiveness & other stuff

I took this exerpt out of the weekly church hand out because it really spoke to me.

"Forgiveness is the answer to our dream of a miracle. Through forgiveness what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean, what is lost is found. Nothing greater can happen to a human being than that he or she is forgiven. A person is no longer trapped in his past. He is set free free to love again, free to move forward again.

Forgiveness is unconditional or it is not forgiveness at all.

Can one forgive oneself? No, it doesn't work. We have to be forgiven. We can only believe that this is possible if we ourselves are able to forgive.

These words of Christ;
"Your sins are forgiven, go in peace." are among the most wonderful in the gospel.

I find there to be so many profound things in the gospel according to John. And I remember when I was in Sydney a few weeks ago, sitting on a blanket in the sun reading the book of John for something to do to pass time. It was such a stinking hot day and I remember feeling chills all over when I read the following;

"When the world hates you, remember it hated me before it hated you. The world would love you if you belonged to it, but you don't. I chose you to come out of the world, and so it hates you. Do you remember what I told you? 'A servant is no greater than the master.' Since they persecuted me, naturally they will persecute you. And if they had listened to me, they would listen to you!"
(Jn 15:18-20)

I felt a relationship with Jesus stronger than ever before when I read this, because I felt like it related to me -- even if it might not have been for the right reason. I suppose that I've always felt as though I've never belonged. I've always felt alone until I found my Faith, and it is only when I am in the presence of Jesus at Mass or with my beloved, fellow Christian friends that I truly feel as though I am home.

As time goes on my Mum is more accepting of my faith and this is really pleasing to me, because I've always went through my life wishing and hoping to make my parents proud. My mother has at times met my faith with scorn, but mostly in an awkward way, because I am not sure she knows how else to act, but I think possibly that when I become confirmed she will be counted in attendence. That makes me happy and satisfied.

Today a woman from Church called to confirm my attendance to the RCIA meeting, which I was happy to hear. I unfortunately was still lolling around in bed like the slug that I was modelling to be at the time she called, but my Mum had a talk to her just briefly. The lady is really nice. She was the one that I met after church with Fr. Cleary the other day. I called her back and she and I had a little talk about my background. She said it might take a year for me to get confirmed, to go through RCIA for an entire, and that's absolutely fine with me -- but I might be ready earlier. She said at some point I'd have a heart-to-heart with Fr. and the idea of that seemed very nice.

So tomorrow night (today now.) I pray that I can attend the RCIA meeting without any flickers of fear in my heart, nor will I let any anxiety make me feel as though I can't turn up. I think I'll be fine though, I know this is something that Jesus wants me to do and so he'll protect me from anything that gets thrown my way.

In Jesus I want to ALWAYS trust!

God Bless you guys!!!
Take care xoxoxoxo