It's over now...

You knew how I felt and you disregarded me.
You should have known that I built you up and placed such an importance on being graced by your royal fucking company.
-- But yet, here I am, alone; letting my feelings bleed on to this page.

I always make the bigger effort. I extend my arm as far as I can stretch it out to you. You can't even try to meet me halfway?
-- I cry here, alone; estrangement blankets me with the warmth and familiarity of the close relationship that I feel as though I may never cherish again.

A wave of despair now comes and visits but mostly I feel impartial, diffident -- I shrug the feeling off of my back, suround myself with the cynicisim that has replaced my wide-eyed naivete.
-- It is here that I get used to the coolness, sometimes frost, that is coupled with being alone

And I don't even mind.

Filling the void that bleeds a desire to be loved, to be inspired and to gain your acceptance isn't important anymore.
-- It is here that I realise that you can't be important to me anymore.

Just the way I was never important to you.

------

I could do with a some prayers. and so could my stupid senseless brother.